* LUV AND FAMILY * I BELIEVE

DEAR KEVIN

2011-11-28T09:26:00.000-08:00

I did not wait for a service or memorial to be arranged. Yesterday, I spent some quiet time with the Lord. I prayed for you. I cried for you. You could not find your way off the dark and lonely path your life had taken. God is so great I know his mercy and love are pouring out on you now. HE never abandoned you. HE hurt when you hurt. HE does not stop free will. Do not be ashamed. You are forgiven and only HE can judge. I find peace in knowing you believed.

"I tell you the truth, whoever hears my word and believes in HIM will not be condemned - he has crossed over from death to life". 1 John 5:24

IN LOVING MEMORY

2011-10-29T01:57:00.000-07:00

On a flight from Detroit to Denver, 1979.

I heard a joke on the plane and handed the light blue headset, shaped like a stereoscope to the passenger next to me. Knowing what would happen. No one told a joke like Flip Wilson.

He listened intently and when the punch line hit he laughed until the tears came. I am sure to this day, even the pilots heard that laugh. Some on the plane giggled at the unexpected out burst while others seemed aggravated. I didn't care, I got the response I wanted.

I loved that laugh! :)

In loving memory of my (ex) father-in-law.

10.28.11

A BIBLE THUMPER I AM

2011-09-12T03:17:00.000-07:00

You put on a shirt before entering a store
Take off your hat once a year for church

You show respect for the outside world but not here
You judge by the color of someones skin

Our dad lived his life in a bottle
You live yours from can-to-can

What were the words you used to describe someone who believes?
I am proud to be a bible thumper!!!

A NOTE TO GOD

2011-08-26T17:15:00.000-07:00

This week we had a guest speaker at our church. A pastor from Albania. Until the age of 15 was raised Muslim. Someone had given him the book of John. Needless to say he had to keep it hidden as he could have been executed. He carefully shared the word and what he endured over the years as his faith grew and his underground congregation grew.

One passage he shared with us: Matthew 9:37.... “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. 38 Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.”

At the end of his service he placed a trash bag on the steps of the alter. He invited us to come forward and write down what ever was 'weighing on your heart'. Place it in the bag and let God deal with it.

Today I came home from work and my husband, myself and my brother all sat around the dinner table catching up on each others day. My brother said the neighbor came by and offered him 3 days of work in the week ahead. I know this particular neighbor will not only teach him a new skill but will need him more than just a week. I was relieved too because our conversation yesterday left me uneasy. My brother has had his hopes set on getting into a place his friend works at and has not looked elsewhere. Then my brother talked about placing applications in the coming week.

I took the opportunity to tell my brother about my note to God: Please help my brother find a job. And show me how to bring Jesus into his life.

Thank you Lord

ELVIS ROCKED THE PARTY

2011-08-23T11:49:00.000-07:00

If your looking for something your guests will remember about your party, it is Elvis, of course. I've seen many impersonators, but this guy will interact with the crowd, have you dancing with him and just rock the house. Not having a party in a hall? Who cares, back yard parties are the best! We had Mark perform in 2007 and knew exactly who to call when we scheduled this years bash. No kidding, look no further, you won't be disappointed! Mark Babich is in Oakland, Macomb and St. Clair counties in Michigan. -

markcbabich@gmail.com

BEST WISHES VINTAGE POSTCARD

2011-08-08T16:05:00.000-07:00

Best Wishes vintage postcard with blue flowers, colorful butterfly and lovely gold bows. Post marked May 19, 1911 to an address in Farmland Indiana. In good condition and in a protective sleeve. Zoom in on image to see the beauty of this antique card!

3.99

A TIME TO GROW

2011-05-02T11:01:00.000-07:00

This past weekend, I was smacked with reality.

A friend came into town, for a surprise party we were hosting. We have not seen him since our first year in FL. He rescheduled his weekend work, picked up the wife in MI and they both headed over for some much needed R & R. As we all talked and caught up on all the changes in our lives, he gave me one of the best compliments I have ever had!

At this point, I would have to re-cap the time he spent with us in FL. His truck route was bringing him to FL and we invited him to stay with us for a long weekend before he got back on the road. Sometimes he is on the road 6 months at a time. We had a vacant store nearby and we told him to park the semi there and we would pickup him and his doggie. The next morning we drove by on our way to the grocery store and realized his truck had been towed. Long story short, the company that had removed the truck and trailer, towed it improperly and burned out the transmission of his new truck. Luckily his insurance company handled everything and kept him informed every step of the way. Although it took almost a month to resolve, we came home to some of the most wonderful meals during his extended stay with us.

Back to the conversation - he said: although it was something beyond our control, the time I spent with you guys was really one of the best times I have ever had. What could have been so stressful - all came together. My wife and I aren’t as religious as you. (That was his word; I think he used religious as an alternative word instead of Christian. And that is fine; I know how he meant it.) He continued: but I knew going thru that, the aspect you bring with your faith into our lives, we knew everything would be ok.

I was floored, that I was such a positive influence. In a split second, I remembered something my pastor had said in a recent service. The example he used was a firefly, how in the darkness, the awe of watching that tiny light. Something special catches everyone’s eye.

As I looked around at all the faces attending the party, I realized I really didn’t deserve that compliment……

I continuously talk about how words can sting and cannot be taken back once said.

I looked over at my daughter. I realized days earlier, I had said some very hurtful words to her, instead of giving her support during a very trying time. Although we talked about it, I see I had put my point of view on the situation. My words didn’t hurt just her though. Sadly, they hurt someone she loves.

I have always considered myself a good listener. Not this time. How sad.

I scanned the room again and saw more of my flaws.

My greatest strength when I was young was I never listened to gossip or judged someone if they had not hurt me directly. Something changed over the years.

I saw two others in the crowd; I realized I let the things I’d heard over the years about them drive a wedge in this family. I let someone else’s words influence my way of thinking.

I took the opportunity to sit down and spend some time with them.

Moving forward we all need to remind ourselves at family functions, celebrations or gathering with friends, look around. Is there anyone there your avoiding? And are the reasons justified? Have harsh words been said?

I am not perfect ---- but I did think I was on the right path.

"It takes the help of God and our personal discipline to keep from firing off a round of wounding words."

This is my time to grow......

FEBRUARY 18TH - ETCHED IN MY HEART FOREVER!

2011-02-18T06:00:00.000-08:00

It's been 9 years. February 18th. That day is forever etched in my heart. I woke in our little Southfield bungalow to the words **"TODAY IS THE DAY YOU QUIT SMOKING."** Not my conscious - not my mind waking in its normal fast forward mode and starting to put my day in order. This was HIS voice.

When my husband called from work a few hours later, I announced "I quit smoking." His response: "Why didn't you warn me?" I had tried many times over the years to quit, he knew what he was in for. I had been a smoker for 10 years. I stared at the 3 packs still sitting on the table he had bought for me the night before. I didn't want them.

Flash back to 3 days earlier: the one year anniversary of my fathers death was approaching - I knelt on the alter of my church and forgave him. Forgave him for walking away from my brothers and I when our mother died. Forgave him for not being strong enough to find his way out of the bottle. He wasted over 30 years on an addiction. I let the anger and hurt go. I realized my anger was just as consuming as his addiction.

A week later - my sister called. It was time to get together. We always managed to slow down our busy lives to meet for coffee / dinner.

Her good memories of our father she shared during our time together over that year seemed to diminish the bad memories I had. We always said we came from 2 different families. All the sisters were older and she knew a different man than my brothers and I. She listened to all the hurtful memories I had of him. I know God gave me that time with her for a reason. That foundation of faith she shared with me - gave me strength when God called her home in 2008. Who was I to question him?

During our get together a few nights later - she noticed I was not smoking. I told her I quit. Her jaw dropped. "My God, my chain smoking must be driving you crazy!" Nope, not a twinge or craving. As usual we sat and talked until the restaurant made it obvious they were cleaning to close. lol.

Each day is a gift and I have NEVER forgotten the words.

Are these two events connected? I believe they are. Luke 11:28 - He replied, “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and obey it.”

TRYING TIMES

2011-01-07T16:26:00.000-08:00

Our home was broken into yesterday while we were at work. Our pets are safe, we are safe and thats all that matters! I will let the good Lord handle the rest.

I talked to my brother today and there is no more unemployment, he was packing, waiting for the eviction notice. Yesterday he stared at a gun and realized what it would do to those he left behind.

We have our health, jobs and a roof over our head and by God we will do what we can to help.

1 John 3:17
If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person?

SUNDAY WITH SIMO

2010-12-15T16:41:00.000-08:00

Recently I went with my brother to see one of his friends. the visit will stay with me forever.

My brother does not have a car. He depends on unemployment to keep a roof over his head. As unsure as things are for him, he had a box with food that he wanted to take to his friend. He said "I can get a ride to the store or for errands but I can't get anyone to take me there". He has told me over the years how his friend counseled him during an abusive relationship, friendly to everyone, a supervisor that had the respect of everyone in the plant.

I said I would be glad to take him on Sunday. It was the weekend before Thanksgiving. We winded our way thru the mobile home park. Since we didn't have a phone number to call first, we weren't sure if Simon was even home. The door opened and he instantly reminded me of my husbands uncle in California with that warm inviting personality and a glint with each smile. I had the pleasure of sitting for the next several hours listening to two friends catch up.

The conversation outlined some the events of the last 2 years while we were living in FL. He'd lost his wife of over 25 years to a long term illness. A few weeks after, the plant he and my brother worked at for over 15 years, shut down. Soon after, Simon became very ill with pneumonia. He went to bed and stayed there. He had lost his will to live. My brother received a call from a former coworker saying he had been unable to reach Simon by phone and was very worried. My brother found a ride over and 911 was called immediately.

My heart ached with understanding of the void he felt after losing a loved one. Simon sat across the kitchen table and just kept smiling, so thankful my brother acted quickly that day. During the conversation, I could hear the noise of the furnace. He grinned "If it's making noise, I know it's working". He said he has had to fix it a few times over the years. "This ole mobile home is probably one of the oldest in the park, but its home".

After the 911 call, I was shocked to learn he was in a coma for over a month. Then rehabilitation to help him walk again. I began to ask questions about his time in the coma. He said "I remember your brother coming to see me". ~Immediately I thought of my sister Sandy. I've wondered for 21 years if she really heard us like the drs said - the hours we talked to her, made promises to God, made promises to her, played music, placed cold compresses on her forehead; trying to break the fever, laughing as my brother-in-law tried to help. He couldn't find a washcloth but he found a kotex pad in the restroom, ran it under cold water and used that as a compress. We laughed until our stomachs ached.~ "I remember everyone that visited" Simon stated. My eyes teared.

The majority of the park is unemployed. Their particular area in NE Macomb county has no other options. The local plants closed and most of the small businesses in town couldn’t afford to keep employees, few stayed in business.

During a time in my life when I am counting my blessings for having a job so soon after returning to MI - meeting Simon reminded me of one of my prayers when we moved back. I wanted the opportunity to lend a hand. At work I have community opportunities. But this really hit home.

If you find yourself in a similar situation, remember: No one expects you to hand them money. They are worried and feeling helpless and probably not revealing how bad things truly are for them. You can help without hurting their pride. Offer a ride, if they don’t have a car. Perhaps an invitation to your home for dinner would lift their spirits? Keep in mind – they are paying for their utilities, rent and food with their unemployment. Do you have a home computer? Help them apply for a bridge card.

I know, I know - there are a few that take advantage of unemployment. But we cannot punish the ones that are trustworthy, hardworking and have fallen on hard times.

People come into your life for a reason. Here are 2 of 700,000 unemployed in MI.

I am looking forward to the next Sunday with Simon.

Today I am asking for some prayers. Please, say a prayer for those that have not been able to pay their rent since the cut off in November. Pray that landlords are not quick to evict if they have not received Novembers' rent yet.

Romans 15:2 (Amplified Bible)
Let each one of us make it a practice to please (make happy) his neighbor for his good and for his true welfare, to edify him [to strengthen him and build him up spiritually].

ONE LAST CHRISTMAS

2010-12-10T12:55:00.000-08:00

Its been 21 years, but today it all came back like it was yesterday. My son was 3 months old, my daughter 4. My sister Sandy had become suddenly very ill. The diagnosis: encephalitis. She was placed on life support within 24 hours of being admitted. All we could do was hold her hand as Grand Mal seizures and fever took over. I argued with every dr on the case, they gave me the same grim prognosis. March 25th, we made the hardest decision of our lives, permission to remove the ventilator. April 6th, God called her home.

On one of my visits, I ran into an old high school friend on the elevator. I asked her why she was at the hospital. I listened hoping she would say a friend or relative was having a baby. I wanted to hear some happy news since we were in the 4th week of my sisters illness and all we had to hold onto was hope and each other. Oddly enough, my friends name was Sandy also. She said she was told by the doctors to come in and say her goodbyes. Her son was 3.

I heard this song today and thought of her. I can't even imagine her pain.

SHARING OUR THANKSIVING PRAYER

2010-11-25T07:43:00.000-08:00

Today, I thought I would do something a little different and share my prayer for Thanksgiving with everyone. Not just those sitting at the table.

Thank you lord for our friends and family sharing this day with us. Let the ones that can't be with because of the miles that separate us or because they are now with you - know that we love them and how they hold a special place in our hearts. Although we miss them, we know the fun times shared, can spark our memories and feel like they are right here with us. Heal those that are hurting or are sick Lord, when we lack the right words of encouragement, may they remember how much we love them. Guide those in the right direction that are looking for jobs, facing hardships or having challenges with everyday life. Remind us how much stronger we will be when we get over that mountain and look back and realize it was only a hill. Thank you for this opportunity to enjoy your gift of sharing life together with others. AMEN

REACHING OUT

2010-11-02T09:55:00.000-07:00

A conversation with my brother-in-law (my sisters widow) today got me thinking.

Do you have someone you can count on?

As I drove him to a cataract surgery appointment - he said he felt so alone. He didn't know who he would ask to drive him for surgery until he heard we were moving back. He has done so much for others over the years. Where is everyone now that he needs help?

I guess my point today is this: REACH OUT!

Volunteering is a great way to contribute if your like me and just want to do something for someone.

Or if you have an ill friend, family member or the elderly - just listen. You would be surprised how "time" can be a better gift.

If I have learned anything over the years it is this: Reach out today, you may not have tomorrow.

I BELIEVE

2010-10-16T07:55:00.000-07:00

Many asked why are you going back to MI??? There are no jobs. To them we said "Are you serious? HE would not move us back to fail." I am happy to share we are both working. We moved back almost 3 months ago. Walking in faith has NEVER let us down.

I'm not good at debating the bible, I have a pastor for that. But, I have been told I have an "opinion". I'll leave it at that. lol

In our home, we are thankful for what we have. Blessed to have family and friends, here and in heaven. And grateful for the "God given" strength HE gave us to endure.

I am ALWAYS thankful for the journey.

CHEMO COCKTAIL

2010-10-04T07:15:00.000-07:00

What would go better with a CHEMO cocktail?

This question was asked as a ‘survey’ by one of my friends on Face Book who lives 1,500 miles away.

I skipped the question and answered something else she had commented on. I did not realize she was on-line. She immediately replied 'answer the question’.

I stared at the question again and the options she had listed below…………

I was instantly taken back to my visit with her and her family in New Orleans in May of 05. Beignet pastries, festive boas, intricately painted masks, the shops of the French Quarter, a restaurant called the Port of Call, jazz music in the park, Hurricanes and Hand Grenades and the historic cemeteries. Her husband would drop us off every evening, while her oldest son watched her youngest, so we could wander the shops and laugh and catch up. Her hubby drove after I rolled myself into the van the evening I was introduced to a Hand Grenade. More smiles when I think of our visit to the cemetery when she said stay close, I followed fast on her heels as we ran thru the cemetery from the woman we dubbed the ‘voodoo’ woman ranting she had died a year ago but no one would listen to her.

It seemed like just yesterday we both worked for a company in MI and the pranks we played on unsuspecting co-workers! Our worlds were filled with ex-husbands, raising our kids and how blessed we both were to be so happily re-married and how wonderful God is in all of it.

A few years passed and she and her family moved back to New Orleans and they reunited with their family and friends. Even Katrina could not shake the spirit of this woman. And breast cancer won’t either.

So I looked back at the screen and answered her survey with tears in my eyes. If she can laugh at her situation – I have to too!

What goes better with a CHEMO cocktail? A. Olive B. Sword full of cherries C. Celery stick D. Fruit wedge E. Paper umbrella.

I asked if they serve it in a hand grenade glass (a souvenir I keep in my cupboard to this day). She immediately changed her status to include this option. lol

I pray I can afford a trip to be there to walk with her in the Susan G. Komen fight for the cure in 2011 in New Orleans!

Here’s to you my friend – keep fighting that fight.

IT IS NOT OK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-09-19T07:17:00.000-07:00

A healthy relationship contains respect, and an overuse of I Love You's. (I learned this in my second marriage).

It is not ok to hit, push, belittle or threaten if you are in a dating relationship or marriage. I have heard excuses from men and women that stress or alcohol etc. was to blame - not the person. NO, NO, NO! abuse

Please become informed. If a little voice is telling you someone makes you uncomfortable, frightened, intimidated or you should always do things 'their' way to keep the peace - maybe you need to confide in a family member or state authority that can help or provide protection. Tell someone, I beg you!

The following video is not as disturbing as the video Eminem filmed for the song. But it truly gives a very strong side to both parties. The controller and the victim.

!!!!!! HOME SWEET HOME !!!!!!!

2010-08-02T10:21:00.000-07:00

It's been a roller coaster of events and emotions, but we made it!! We learned a few weeks before our return to Michigan, our old house we lived in before moving to FL was available. Our 1 acre of heaven! So, our little caravan headed north. My husband driving the moving truck, towing a 6 x 12 trailer. I followed in my car, with the wiener dogs and towed the jet ski. Our daughter followed me in my husbands car with our kitty and towed a small landscape trailer. The moving truck on some of the inclines, bogged down to about 40 mph at times. (Don't rent from Budget, U-haul will price match, we found out later...) When we wanted to push and make up some time, God had another thing in mind. Believe me, take heed when a traffic jam slows you, don't try to rush thru. Driving past an over-turned 18-wheeler in the Tennessee mountains is a sure reminder.

As we made our way thru Ohio, a 1 ft. piece of metal hit my front bumper. We were in bumper-to-bumper traffic. I called my husband who was ahead of me, I told him I was not sure if the metal came from the small trailer he was pulling, but we needed to pull off the road and make sure. This stretch of road was in dire need of repair for pot holes. The trailer seemed to be bouncing A LOT. Due to the horribly slow traffic, it was not easy to exit, but after a few miles, we were finally able to due so. We discovered a large crack on the frame, as you can see, the safety chains would have been no help if this had let go. So we counted our blessings, found lodging for the night and rented a Uhaul trailer the next morning. After unloading the items into the replacement trailer and locating a scrapyard to pick up the trailer we were leaving behind, we were back on the road.

We asked the landlord to leave everything to us, deducting the work from the security deposit. Be careful what you ask for. lol. Needless to say, it has been a whirlwind of work since pulling in the driveway. The yard had been neglected for the 2 years we were gone. The office and the spare bedroom will need to be painted. Florescent lime green is not the color I want on my office wall while I am blogging. lol. The spare room was painted a darker blue than the color on my blog. As for the rest of the house, carpets clean up and bleach does wonders. My sons old room at the back of the house, needed the carpet tore out. But, alas, a labor of love!!

It is hard to describe the feeling of coming home. It is even harder to put into words of coming back to the house we love.

As I walk around, I smile knowing the windchime I left on the front porch was still there to greet me. We found the firepit we made in the back yard after we mowed the grass. lol. And the tile floors I put in the bathrooms, still looked great.

We love listening to the jets fly over from the nearby airbase. Things we always said we wanted to do to the house, but never did, are getting done this time. I have already tore down the old wallpaper in the kitchen and the back hall. My hubby will be replacing the roofing on the patio and some of the framing, for those big parties we like to have.

Now back to reality * I have to find a job. :)

READY TO GO........!

2010-07-17T10:33:00.000-07:00

We are packed and ready to go! So - we will be off line tomorrow.

Some think we are crazy leaving FL.

Folks here AND in Michigan. lol.

Here / don't want us to go.

At home / can't believe we want to deal with snow and ice.

And we love 'em all!

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

The journey continues! (I went parasailing before leaving!. lol)

I HAVE A DAUGHTER-IN-LAW!!

2010-07-17T10:00:00.000-07:00

Going off-line tomorrow to move back to MI, and wanted to make sure this got posted:

July 1st!! I heard this song on the way home from work - shortly after my son called and told me he eloped.

3 years have flown by since they began dating. For the first time - my teenager began talking about goals!! She has been really good for him and I know we raised him to be a good man.

I can't wait to get home and hug my new daughter-in-law!!!

BETTER THAN A HALLELUJAH!!!

2010-07-03T07:44:00.000-07:00

Dantae Morris turned himself in at about 10:30 p.m. Friday!!!!

Hundreds of officers in tactical gear conducted the most intense manhunt Tampa has ever seen. Our quiet neighborhood on Thursday morning about 10:30am was no exception. Detectives followed up on over 400 tips.

News of the surrender comes just hours before hundreds of mourners crowd Idlewild Baptist Church today in Lutz for funerals for both fallen officers, David Curtis and Jeffrey Kocab.

Tampa police said the surrender came nearly 30 hours after detectives began negotiations with an "associate" of Morris. These negotiations eventually led to Morris turning himself in, and the associate will be entitled to a $100,000 reward that had been offered for information leading to his arrest.

Morris' brother was a person of interest during the time Morris eluded police. His brother was arrested this morning at a Tampa motel on separate charges.

This should help give the families SOME peace of mind.

We pour out our miseries
God just hears a melody
Beautiful, the mess we are
The honest cries of breaking hearts
Are better than a Hallelujah

The woman holding on for life
The dying man giving up the fight
Are better than a Hallelujah sometimes

The tears of shame for what's been done
The silence when the words won't come
Are better than a Hallelujah sometimes

As we all go about a care free holiday weekend, please keep all the families involved in this tragedy in your prayers!

AT LARGE

2010-07-02T03:51:00.000-07:00

Tampa police are looking for Dantae Morris, shot and killed 2 police officers on Tuesday. $100,000 reward is offered.

I'M GOING HOME...

2010-06-29T17:58:00.000-07:00

Life takes many paths and roads.

We left everything we knew for 40+ years and moved to FL 2 years ago. Found new drs, a new church, made new friends, new jobs. We jumped with no net. It's been a challenge, but, I can honestly look back and smile at the lessons learned and see where the journey took us.

I attribute that to a great pastor at CCWC that reminds us to NOT focus on economy, jobs, finances, family, health etc. Focus on God, the rest will work itself out. Don't let the everyday things in this world beat you up.

Send out fear, doubt, unbelief, confusion.

Don't deny reality, change it.

We must create an atmosphere for God to move in our lives!

We have loved our time here.

With that said, my husband and I have made the decision to return to Michigan. As hard as it is to leave - we are just as excited to be going back to our kids, family and friends.

I think of the friends we have made here. You know the kind I mean, the life long friends that you know you will keep in contact with for years to come. Friends met thru family get togethers. Friends thru work with smiles that turned a bad day into a day you could laugh at - together.

I think of family that waited anxiously for us to arrive 2 years ago. How lucky to be the aunt a little "dance" was inspired from. An aunt that cared enough to question why the boyfriend was still over - past curfew. An aunt that remembers who taught me how to play guitar hero. Laughing when "who's the man?" had a little girl fumbling between her daddy and Uncle Ted.

We will remember a particularly sweet little 'ole' neighbor that will stay in our hearts forever. She declined my offer to scoop her up and take her with us, by the way... I will have to rely on snail mail to stay in touch with her.

How do we say goodbye?

Please remember when moving day really gets here,we will be back for visits, I promise!!

FOX 13 TAMPA BAY GOES TOO FAR

2010-06-29T04:04:00.001-07:00

During the early morning hours in Tampa, 2 officers were shot during a routine traffice stop. One officer passed away at Tampa General Hospital. The other is on life support. Officers are still canvasing Tampa for the 2 suspects, a man and woman.

News reporter Icides Sigui (sorry if spelled incorrectly) reported on a live update this morning that after speaking to an official for Tampa Police Department he stated "Tampa now has 2 officers killed in the line of duty in Tampa within a year". He stated the official corrected him and said "No, we have 3". Then Icides stated the official was referring to the officer on life support and that he was not expected to pull thru.

I couldn't believe my ears. Surely Fox must have yanked him as soon as the live feed was over... No, there he was 10 minutes later - live - giving the same info, almost word for word.

Shame on Fox 13 if they do not reprimand this reporter. What if the families were listening while keeping vigile at the hospital?

My prayers are with all they have been affected by this tragic event this morning.

Please pray for the officer Fox 13 has given up on.

WOOD STORK SIGHTING

2010-06-19T12:13:00.000-07:00

I have asked many floridians and none have seen a Wood Stork. Since the birds here facinate me anyway, I knew this one was different the minute he walked up my driveway in June!

Of course, now everyone is saying there is a 'reason' a stork visits. Or I was just seeing things. lol.

Luckily, this intesting fella returned 6 days later and my husband got to see how friendly it was. Probably could have hand fed him / her. But, we didn't try it.

I feel so blessed to have had the opportunity to meet this wonderful creature!

PACK IT UP

2010-06-10T17:35:00.000-07:00

I am happily beginning to pack. I know, I know. The lease isn't up yet, but I am THAT ready to go. I want to get a head start on the china cabinet and things like that.

Praying for answers to some of my questions right now and just watching the answers as they are being revealed.

Stay tuned!

I WANNA BE YOU WHEN I GROW UP.....

2010-06-03T18:12:00.000-07:00

Nick Vujicic

Look down from a broken sky
Traced out by the city lights
My world from a mile high
Best seat in the house tonight

Touch down on the cold black top
Hold on for the sudden stop
Breath in the familiar shock
Of confusion and chaos

All those people going somewhere
Why have I never cared

Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach
Give me you heart for the ones forgotten
Give me your eyes so I can see

Step out on a busy street
See a girl and our eyes meet
Does her best to smile at me
To hide what’s underneath

There's a man just to her right
Black suit and a bright red tie
Too ashamed to tell his wife
He's out of work, He's buying time

I’ve been here a million times
A couple of million eyes
Just move and pass me by
I swear I never thought that I was wrong
I need a second glance
Give me a second chance

BITE ME?

2010-05-24T15:15:00.000-07:00

I heard a blip on my FL radio station today of a Georgia woman that was bit by a brown recluse spider.

Of course the radio station turned it into ‘how could someone NOT know they were bit?’ I get so angry when the stations start saying what they would do in that situation.

Thankfully I have not been bit since moving to FL in 2008. I did however get bit while living in MI.

I noticed the bite on the back of my calf. It was extremely painful and bright red, about the size of half dollar. I ignored it when discovered in the shower before going to work but midmorning at work – I called my Drs office. The pain was getting worse. They asked if I could come right in. I was immediately placed on antibiotics for the infection and acetaminophen for the pain. Since they are not positive it was a spider (we did not SEE it happen), yet alone what kind, we had to assume it was one of the very common spiders in Michigan. In the northern states, there is what is called jumping spiders. A very small spider, but believe me – packs a punch. Reacting like the brown recluse, these spiders are not aggressive and bite only when threatened, usually when pressed up against the victim's skin.

If you think you or someone you know may have been bitten, PLEASE Seek medical attention the same day.

TIME TO BLOG ABOUT PRESCRIPTION COSTS!

2010-04-28T14:10:00.000-07:00

So far, we have been blessed to have health insurance thru my employer. But our insurance is changing May 1st. Our premium is going up and our convenient ‘co-pays’ for prescriptions will be unaffordable.

It has forced me to do some homework. What an eye opener!

Did you know, Walgreens will not tell you your prescription can cost less if you DON’T use your insurance???? They offer their 'Prescription Savings Club' which is $9 for a 30 day supply or $12 for a 90 day supply. But there is a YEARLY membership fee of $20 for individuals and $35 for family.

I have been on countless medications over the last 2 years due to the vertigo. Antivert, for one example (generic name meclizine), was prescribed for the nausea. My insurance would not cover it so I could not afford to stay on it. I went without. Found it thru this website for $13 for a 90 supply Allegro Medicine WITHOUT A PRESCRIPTION!!!!

There are medications my husband and I must take every day. For instance:

My hormones:
$10 every 30 days - $120 per yr – Walgreens
$24 every 90 days - $96 per yr – Wal-Mart (this is one my insurance would never let me fill for 90 days). Not a big cost savings but being able to fill it for 90 days will be a huge convenience!

My husband is on blood pressure medication.
2 different medications are needed every month.
$20 every 30 days - $240 per yr – Walgreens
$10 for ea 90 days - $80 per yr – Wal-Mart or Target
A $160 savings per year!

My medication for restless legs: ROPINIROLE.
90 days for $54 with a prescription from my dr.
Family Meds

If you live in an area that has Publix or Meijer stores, they offer FREE antibiotics or pre-natal vitamins; even certain diabetes medications and meters are free.

Wal-Mart and Target offer prescriptions for $4 for a 30 day supply or $10 for a 90 supply. (And a select few @ $24 for 90 days)

I encourage everyone to print the different lists and review them with your doctor. You may be on a medication that has a similar medication on the lists and your dr. can tell you if switching medication is an option.

Asthma, diabetes, cholesterol, arthritis, glaucoma, heart health, blood pressure, mental health, thyroid, women’s health, anxiety, anticonvulsants are out lined in the linked lists.

Do research when looking up costs on the internet! Email me with questions, I would be glad to help!

With health care changing, we all need to have the facts.

IDOL - MR HUMBLE

2010-04-13T18:28:00.000-07:00

Definitely the one to watch!

Lee DeWyze is finding his confidence on the stage. You just gotta love someone sooooo humble! :)

WORRY LOOKS AROUND, SORRY LOOKS BACK, FAITH LOOKS UP!

2010-04-13T09:31:00.000-07:00

You say: 'It's impossible'
God says: All things are possible
( Luke 18:27)

You say: 'I'm too tired'
God says: I will give you rest
( Matthew 11:28-30)

You say: 'Nobody really loves me'
God says: I love you
( John 3:1 6 & John 3:34 )

You say: 'I can't go on'
God says: My grace is sufficient
(II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)

You say: 'I can't figure things out'
God says: I will direct your steps
(Proverbs 3:5-6)

You say: 'I can't do it'
God says: You can do all things
(Philippians 4:13)

You say: 'I'm not able'
God says: I am able
(II Corinthians 9:8)

You say: 'It's not worth it'
God says: It will be worth it
(Roman 8:28 )

You say: 'I can't forgive myself'
God says: I Forgive you
(I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)

You say: 'I can't manage'
God says: I will supply all your needs
( Philippians 4:19)

You say: 'I'm afraid'
God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear
( II Timothy 1:7)

You say: 'I'm always worried and frustrated'
God says: Cast all your cares on ME
(I Peter 5:7)

You say: 'I'm not smart enough'
God says: I give you wisdom
(I Corinthians 1:30)

You say: 'I feel all alone'
God says: I will never leave you or forsake you
(Hebrews 13:5)

You say: 'I am scared of the future'
God says: I will give you hope and a future
(Jeremiah 29:11)

OH COME ON, SERIOUSLY??

2010-04-06T15:49:00.001-07:00

Spirit Airlines will now be charging a fee for carry-on luggage that will not fit under the seat. CARRY-ON luggage! Unbelievable!

I like Spirit Airlines. Well, I did. I understand the fees incurred for checked baggage. But seriously, to charge for carry-ons. Come on, its all getting a bit ridiculous.

I for one will be choosing another carrier when traveling.

BIG RIP OFF FOR FLORIDA TEACHERS

2010-03-25T15:17:00.000-07:00

The Florida Retirement System does not want to payout the FRS benefits that employees have worked so hard for. How sad the system wants to do this to the people who trusted them and now it is painfully obvious they were just campaining for their votes.

Senator JD Alexander, of Lake Wales, has another bill, SB 2022, which is still very much alive and will be coming up today in committee. His phone number is (850) 487-5044 This is as of 3/25/10 at 1:30 pm.

There is a bill (HB1319/SB 1902) moving in Tallahassee that will significantly change the Florida Retirement System if passed. Some highlights of HB 1319/SB 1902 include:

Retirement compensation will be computed based on the average salary over **ALL** years of service. The average of the “highest five years” rule will be repealed. There is no grandparenting clause, so this will apply to existing employees participating in the FRS system who continue to work after July 1, 2010.

This could effectively cut their pension by as much as 50%. It would average their first year with their last, and every year in between.

All new hires as of July 1, 2011, and all with DROP participation dates beginning on or after July 1, 2011, would pay a 1% contribution of gross income into the FRS system.

Average full compensation would no longer include accumulated annual leave paid out of the end. Accumulated sick leave paid out at the end will also not be counted towards calculating FRS compensation benefits.

Maximum benefit reduced to 80% of average final compensation. Existing 90% cap would remain for FRS participating employees who vested (at least 6 years of qualified FRS service) before July 1, 2010.

HB 1319 (Rep Grady) can be viewed at:
http://www.flsenate.gov/data/session/2010/House/bills/billtext/pdf/h131900.pdf
The Senate companion bill SB 1902 (Sen Bennett) can be viewed here:
http://www.flsenate.gov/data/session/2010/Senate/bills/billtext/pdf/s1902.pdf

Also pending is HB 1543 (Rep Zapata) Highlights include:

Cut the maximum benefit to 70% of average final compensation.

Entirely eliminates the elected official, senior management, and special risk administrative support classes for FRS benefits. These categories would all remain in FRS, but would be transferred to the “regular class” category.

Eliminates the Senior Management Service Optional Annuity Program.

Makes significant changes in law to municipal pension plans for firefighters and police officers as well as teachers.

If employees are not already receiving retirement benefits they will not be eligible starting July 1, 2010 – regardless of when eligibility was established, all payments will cease December 31, 2010.

Effective July 1, 2010.

You can view HB 1543 here:
http://www.flsenate.gov/data/session/2010/House/bills/billtext/pdf/h154300.pdf

Finally, you can track all FRS-related legislation during the current 2010 Legislative Session here:
http://dms.myflorida.com/human_resource_support/retirement/legislation_laws_and_rules/2010_legislation

These are important issues impacting tens of thousands of hard-working people statewide.

IDOL CHIT CHAT

2010-03-24T03:49:00.001-07:00

I honestly did not know if I was going to tune in or tune out.....

So I have given it some time, and.................

Yes, I will tune in!

I truly thought Ellen would get on my nerves. She sure did the 2 days she guest judged on So You Think You Can Dance. Maybe she has been careful to fit in? I don't know, but so far, she has been a great addition to the show and I like the critiques she gives.

I have 2 favorites this season I am cheering for:
Aaron Kelly - (17 yrs old) has a great sound but was not used to being on stage and had a little bit of a rough time getting used to the cameras. But he has pulled it together and is adorable to boot.

Crystal Bowersox - is confident and picks just the right songs.

This is shaping up to be a great season!

I'LL TAKE YOU BACK

2010-03-20T09:14:00.000-07:00

Last night I attended one of the most incredible concerts I have ever been to! Jeremy Camp - Dove Awards Male Vocalist of the Year with special guest and wife Adie.

Forty years ago, the Gospel Music Association’s Dove Awards began as a small banquet, with 11 Dove Awards in southern gospel only. Today, it is an awards show with more than 40 categories, nationally broadcast reaching 43 million homes.

An awesome night of worship and fellowship. A real gift when you are able to reach listeners with thoughful lyrics and an incredible voice.

I think my favorite song of the night was "Take you back". Jeremy lost his wife 9 years ago to cancer. This song was written during that time. I truly related to that helpless point when you have lost someone and just scream "why"?

Even when the pain is coming thru.... I'll take you back

Although I live in Florida, the evening got very cold. I stayed til the very end. I was not leaving until I heard "There will be a day". Of course this was the last song.

I know the journey seems so long
You feel your walking on your own
But there has never been a step
Where you’ve walked out all alone

Ha Ha vertigo - last night you did not win! lol

SAVE A PLACE FOR ME

2010-02-26T16:24:00.000-08:00

I remember sitting with my sister, knowing each conversation could be our last. She had been diagnosed with cervical cancer and it was terminal. To this day, I cherish every conversation. I asked God for some time with her. He gave me 2 more years with her. It has been a little over 2 years since she passed. I have no regrets. I know that she has gone to a better place but some days were really tough to get thru.

I didn't get 'time' with my sister Sandy. She passed at the age of 34. Encephalitis. She was gone in 8 wks. During those weeks I watched grand mal seizures daily and ended up in the hospital chapel and instead of bargaining as I had done so many times in the last weeks, this time - I just prayed He give me the strength to get thru.

Her death changed my life. I faced things during those 8 wks I never imagined I could face. I looked at my life and knew a change had to be made. I filed for divorce and just wanted to get my kids out of the alcoholic environment. Its been over 20 years.

My prayers are always answered. Just sometimes - I don't understand.

My radio station had a great interview today with Matthew West. He had a 'Memorial Wall' designed on his website: My hope is that this will be a place that will serve as both a memorial to loved ones who have passed away, and also a place for those who are dealing with grief and loss to find comfort and encouragement.

Don't be mad if I cry
It just hurts so bad sometimes
'Cause everyday it's sinking in
And I have to say goodbye all over again
You know I bet it feels good to have the weight of this world off your shoulders now
I'm dreaming of the day when I'm finally there with you

Save a place for me
Save a place for me
I'll be there soon
I'll be there soon
Save a place for me
Save some grace for me
I'll be there soon
I'll be there soon

I have asked the question why
But I guess the answer's for another time
So instead I'll pray with every tear
And be thankful for the time I had you here
And I wanna live my life just like you did
Make the most of my time just like you did
And I wanna make my home up in the sky
Just like you did
Oh, but until I get there
Until I get there

To anyone that reads this, just know mourning is OK. You will hurt and you will cry. And that's OK! Open your heart. God will give you the strength.

Matthew West

http://matthewwest.com/save-a-place-for-me/

TO HOLD YOUR HAND ONCE AGAIN

2010-02-03T16:45:00.000-08:00

Well I prayed and prayed for it to end
And asked God for some angels to send
But now I miss you and would and not ask when
Just to sit and hold your hand once again.

I know it was time, and I know I have been blessed
that she no longer suffers, and she can rest.
Its so hard to let go of that sister of mine
but I know she has gone on, and boy will she shine.

Others have gone before her and welcome her there
To such a beautiful place for her family to share.
This is a place for special sisters and I have to let go
We will miss her dearly, I'm sure she must know.

Barb I know you look down and what you would like most to see
Is your children come together and to finally make peace.
Well if they grow strong in the Lord, miracles happen to those that believe
So I will put my faith in God that this will be achieved.

I love you my dear sister and the private times we spent
from that hospital bed in your home - were truly heaven sent.
I will treasure every word that is no doubt
You are a candle that will burn brightly and never go out!

2/3/2008 FOR MY SISTER BARB

CHANGE YOUR THINKING

2010-01-16T05:40:00.000-08:00

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.

One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs.

His bed was next to the room's only window.

The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.

The men talked for hours on end.

They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation...

Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake.

Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats.. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing by.

Although the other man could not hear the band - he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Days, weeks and months passed.

One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep.

She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed.

It faced a blank wall.

The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.

The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.

She said, 'Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.'

If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy!!

GOOD NEWS OR BAD?

2010-01-14T12:56:00.000-08:00

I went for a heckuva ride today. lol. I do not have 'loose crystals' in my ear. Hence, no screw loose. lol. Contrary to belief.

What the tests did show is: Gait Disturbance / Uncompensated Vestibulopathy. Left unilateral caloric weakness (left ear). An inner ear problem.

The doctor has recommended Vestibular Rehabilitation Therapy (VRT).

My brain cannot rely on the information it receives from the vestibular system, my ability to maintain posture and coordinate balance has become overly dependent on vision or on the information received from the muscles and joints. In other words, my body has learned to 'over compensate' since this has taken so long to diagnose.

This has lead to developing new patterns of movement to compensate for the change and I am avoiding head movements that are apt to create symptoms of dizziness and nausea.

Unfortunately, changes / patterns can result in headache, neck ache, muscle stiffness, general fatigue, and a has retrained the brain to adjust to the problem, hence making the symptoms much worse.

This explains ALOT!

The goal of Vestibular Rehabilitation Therapy is to retrain the brain to recognize and process signals from the vestibular system in coordination with information from vision and perception.

I will now have to see a therapist for evaluation. This will include observing posture, balance, movement, and compensatory strategies.

The therapist will develop a treatment plan that includes specific head, body, and eye exercises to be performed in the therapy and at home.

Treatment may also provoke symptoms to increase tolerance. Sound like fun?

Balance should improve if the exercises are are done correctly. Muscle tension, headaches, and fatigue will ease, and symptoms of dizziness, vertigo, and nausea should disappear.

Surgery is last resort.

Feeling a bit nauseous..... Going to lay down.

It’ll be alright
Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing

THE LAST TIME WE SPOKE......

2010-01-13T16:11:00.000-08:00

I hate speaking in front of a crowd, but my daughter has asked me to say a few words at her wedding in June. She said she wanted me to say something from the bible or say a prayer. She admits she does not share my beliefs, but this wonderful person respects and values something I live and breath. I was honored. I had a few lines written down, but I have not stressed over it. I knew in the end, God would give me the right words.

She is the one with the flair of the pen, an aspiring writer. Truly. She possesses an incredible talent. I don't ever want to see that silenced.

Without going into too much detail, my daughters wedding has been called off.

I drove to work today, thinking of her, and a song came on the radio.

Each word seemed to grip my heart. One verse in particular brought me to tears, I felt helpless with her 1,300 miles away when all I want to do I hug her and tell her everything will be OK.

Last time we spoke,
You said you were hurting,
And I felt your pain in my heart,
I want to tell you,
That I keep on praying,
Love will find you where you are,
I know cause I've already been there,
So please hear these simple truths,
Be strong in the LORD and,
Never give up hope,
You're going to do great things,
I already know,
God's got His hand on you so,
Don't live life in fear,
Forgive and forget,
But don't forget why you're here,
Take your time and pray,
These are the words I would say.

IN MY DAUGHTERS EYES

2010-01-11T15:41:00.000-08:00

TODAY SEEMED LIKE A GOOD DAY TO RE-POST THIS.

I never wanted to know if I was having a boy or girl. I was happy to know the baby was healthy and I never had any complications. God gave me a miracle and I will be forever grateful.

Its amazing when you turn around and realize your child has grown up. The diapers, potty training, boo boo's, mending a favorite toy for the gazillionth time, homework, dances, broken hearts and graduations are in the past.

You can apply discipline, values and rules when they are young - but eventually they go out into the world. It is then you must let go and know that you have 'built a foundation' and God will take care of the rest.

She is so much smarter than I was at that age. I have always said that to co-workers and friends. I am not sure I ever told HER that though - now that I think about it....

She is a writer. Yes, prefers to be alone with her thoughts than in a crowd. Years ago, many people admired that because that drive showed up as straight 'A's on her report cards. Why is it so different now???? Now her writing is very controversial and passionate. It often offends close minded people. Her sense of humor is twisted. LOL. I don't always agree with her point of view, but at the end of the day, it is HER point of view. I have a deep respect for this 'child' that has blossomed into a magnificent adult.

My daughter ........... my friend!!

RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME........

2010-01-09T12:30:00.000-08:00

Its been almost 2 years! I'm just praying my appt on Thursday will finally resolve the vertigo! I'm trying to not get my hopes up again. But its hard.

BENIGN PAROXYSMAL POSITIONAL VERTIGO. The Mayo Clinic had some great info!

Inside your ear are loop-shaped structures (semicircular canals) that contain fluid and fine, hair-like sensors that monitor the rotation of your head. Other structures in your ear monitor movements of your head and your head's position. These organs contain crystals that make you sensitive to movement. For a variety of reasons, these crystals can become dislodged. When they become dislodged, they can move into one of the semicircular canals — especially while you're lying down. This causes the semicircular canal to become sensitive to head position changes it would normally not respond to. As a result, you feel dizzy.

It can also occur after a minor to severe blow to your head. (My car accident???)

Doctors can sometimes determine the cause of BPPV. It may require a consultation with an ear, nose and throat, an ENT (this got me no where!) or a doctor who specializes in the brain and nervous system, Neurologist (another dead end for me!). However, it is almost as common that no specific cause for BPPV can be determined.

Generally, see your doctor if you experience any unexplained dizziness or vertigo that recurs periodically for more than two weeks (ask questions and don't take no for an answer!).

Your doctor may do a series of tests to determine the cause of your dizziness. During a physical examination, your doctor will likely look for:

Signs and symptoms of dizziness that are prompted by eye or head movements and then decrease in less than one minute. Dizziness with specific eye movements that occur when you lie on your back with your head turned to one side and tipped slightly over the edge of the examination bed while watching for involuntary movements of your eyes from side to side.

If the cause of your signs and symptoms is difficult to diagnose, your doctor may order additional testing, such as:

Electronystagmography (ENG) or videonystagmography (VNG). The purpose of this test is to detect abnormal eye movement. ENG (performed with electrodes) or VNG (performed with small cameras) can help determine if dizziness is due to inner ear disease by measuring involuntary eye movements while your head is placed in different positions or your balance organs are stimulated with water or air. Other tests can assess your ability to maintain an upright position under easy and difficult conditions. (None one of my drs suggested this! Thank God for friends and family!).

Magnetic resonance imaging (MRI). This technique uses a magnetic field and radio waves to create cross-sectional images of your head and body. Your doctor can use these images to identify and diagnose a wide range of conditions. MRI may be performed to rule out lesions that may be the cause of vertigo.

In rare situations, your doctor may recommend a surgical procedure in which a bone plug is used to block the portion of your inner ear that's causing dizziness. The plug prevents the semicircular canal in your ear canal from being able to respond to particle movements or head movements in general. This success rate for canal plugging surgery is about 90 percent. Less than 5 percent of people who undergo this procedure experience long-term hearing loss.

God, You know where I've been
You were there with me then
You were faithful before
You'll be faithful again
I'm holding Your hand ..............

TRYING TO FIT THE OCEAN IN A CUP.....

2010-01-01T08:52:00.000-08:00

We all go thru reviewing the last year in our head and remember the wonderful things that stand out and the struggles we faced.

One thing truly stands out in my mind. The music of 2009. Everyday life can make us smile or beat us up. And the folks at The Joy FM inspired me, made me laugh, smile or just re-think. It is during this time I can put my life in perspective.

I have many favorite artists from 2009 and most have been included in this site since it began in July. One in particular, we went to see perform in Ocala (Nov).

Happy New Year everyone!

SOMETIMES CHRISTMAS MAKES ME CRY

2009-12-20T17:22:00.000-08:00

Spending Christmas in MI. Very little access to the computer. Have a wonderful and safe Christmas everyone!!!!

SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE WINNER!!

2009-12-17T16:10:00.000-08:00

This was truly an incredible year for So You Think You Can Dance! The talent was amazing.

My favorite since the auditions? Russell Ferguson.

The judges picked their favorite dance routines from the season that they wanted to see again. Russell was scheduled to perform a routine, but injured his leg in the first 45 minutes of the finale. Instead Fox aired video footage of when the performance originally aired.

With very little formal training and no experience in many of the dance forms, he excelled week after week.

I am thrilled. Congrats Russell!!!

Believe me, America got this one right!

GOING FOR A RIDE!

2009-12-02T16:16:00.000-08:00

This is not quite what I had in mind when we moved to FL. I had hoped for a roller coaster ride at Busch Gardens or a day at Disney World.......

So I have a dr appt mid Jan. This is a specialized dr that deals strictly with vertigo! My sister had sent me a news link featuring this type of dr in MI. A friend here in FL, recently saw a news blip and wrote down the name of this dr. In a short conversation today with the office, this is what they will be focusing on at my first appt: **BENIGN PAROXYSMAL POSITIONAL VERTIGO** (BPPV) IS one of the most commonly encountered causes of vertigo. Fortunately, this is both easy to identify and treat. BPPV does not respond to "pharmacological intervention". (duh, do you know how many drs I have said that to?) Sorry Lord.

The software-driven, patient-positioning system uses infrared video goggles to assist caregivers in analyzing the eye movement patterns, known as nystagmus, which are associated with vestibular disorders caused by loose particles (calcium stones or crystals) in the inner ear canals (the cause of BPPV) as well as non-particle positional vertigo. The Omniax System helps physicians identify the cause of dizziness by ruling in and ruling out various possibilities. If nystagmus is present, the Omniax analyzes its characteristics to determine the cause and appropriate intervention.

When loose particles in the ear canals are contributing to the vertigo, the Omniax System makes it possible to pinpoint the location of the particles and provide the information needed for the caregiver to make treatment decisions. The system’s software gives the audiologist a precise record of the positions and eye movement readings to aid in monitoring progress and overall management of the patient. Its multi-axial rotational capability allows the caregiver to maneuver the particles out of the canals into an area of the ear that will not be irritated.

hearing and balance

Today - I am asking for some prayers. There have been many drs in almost 2 years and at times it has felt like I was set adrift, the world I once knew no longer existed. But life is about change and much is yet to be revealed. I have learned to stop trying to fix the unfixable and have learned PATIENCE.

So this song seemed really appropriate, so long vertigo.... soon I hope!!!

Looking forward to the New Year!

TURN THEIR MOURNING INTO GLADNESS

2009-11-08T14:05:00.000-08:00

Jeremiah 31:13
I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.

I told a fellow blogger yesterday that I don't know why we have to endure hurt and sorrow. I have lost parents, grandparents and sisters. Encephalitis and cancer has reeked havoc on our family. Her site is called Small Insprirations. My heart broke for her as I read her recent blog. She is feeling like God is very distant. Honestly, some days will feel like that. But we have to remember it is not true. And another blogger Heavenly Humor had such a wonderful blog to share about the power of prayer!

And again I am humbled and reminded that as heavy as things have felt over the last weeks/months, it can always be worse.

Recently you may have read in one of my blogs our heartache in losing our sweet Hanna.

Anyone that knows my husband and I, know our pets are like our kids. Even when our kids still lived at home. (I think they knew they took a back seat to the pets. lol)

Over this past weekend my husband wanted to take a drive and look at a used pickup. When it comes to long drives and leaving the house on the weekend - I drag my feet. Not kicking and screaming, but close. Long drives are exhausting for me. And reeks hell on the vertigo. But this time I decided to go. After the long drive and him viewing the truck, he decided to buy it. Which now meant I had the long drive home. I didn't even get out of the car which probably seemed pretty rude to the couple showing my husband the truck. So we followed them back thru the woods to get the title at their house. They had several dogs walking around the property. One Basset Hound reminded me of our friends dog in MI.

As we have been homesick for friends and family, I just had to get out and pet him. Several others made their way over for the attention including another Basset and a gorgeous Bull Mastiff.

My husband then drew my attention to a little black/brown dog sleeping in the dirt. He said it was a Dachshund. A little boy. I told them how we had lost Hanna just 8 weeks ago. The couple called him over. I must have looked like a complete blubbering idiot because the tears started and would not stop. They let me hold him. He seemed very content in my arms.

They said they were looking for a home for him. His mother (a red dachshund, the same color as our Precious at home) had died about 3 weeks earlier (she was probably too old to have any more litters they said) and he has been moping around missing her. Their daughter was no longer giving him any attention.

My husband saw my eyes and knew I was not putting him down. My husband told me later that the man he had bought the truck from was getting all teary eyed watching me with the puppy.

So, we all headed home.

After a very, very long flea bath in the garage and a treatment of Frontline, 2 hrs later we introduced him to our cat. Rascal, Mr 'Laid Back' and nothing bothers me, did just as we thought. Nothing. lol. I was not sure how Precious would react though. She has been missing Hanna terribly and has gotten quite used to the extra attention we have been giving her with Hanna passing.

She wanted the gate taken out of the way to play! But I wasn't so sure 'Lucky' wanted that. With his cautious low growl. It did not take long for everyone to turn into friends.

Now, just a few days later, he has started to feel comfortable enough to play and now we are starting to see his personality emerge.

God has brought joy back to our home.

SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE WITH PAULA???

2009-11-07T12:17:00.000-08:00

For 2 weeks 'So You Think You Can Dance' has featured a chair with Paula's name on it, hoping she fills the seat.

Nigel Lythgoe is certainly all for it. And so am I. Can we get on with it already?

SQUEEZE A TEAR FOR THE CREDIT CARD CFO'S???

2009-11-06T17:59:00.001-08:00

So this was the cover of CFO - October 2009.

In a failing economy these companies have the audacity to hit customers with late fee's for being even 1 day late. Most companies have a policy that if you send a late payment your next 2 statements reflect a 'fee'. They have increased their annual fee from approx $29 to $99. Preferred customers with as low as a 5.9% rate have seen their interest rate sky rocket to 29%!!

Scamers have jumped on the bandwagon and are calling to offer help reduce your interest rate but it is not legitimate. These fast talkers get your credit card number and then charge your card hundreds of dollars. This is another reminder not ever give a caller your private financial information.

American Chronicle - House Votes to Stop Abusive Practices by Credit Card Companies.

Congress is trying to accelerate critical reforms to protect consumers from the abusive practices of the credit card industry. The Credit CARD Act implements tough regulations on the credit card industry and empowers consumers by equipping them with the tools they need to manage their own credit. The legislation includes measures to protect consumers from unfair interest rate hikes on existing balances, double-cycle billing and due-date gimmicks. By moving up the start date of much of the Credit CARD Act, Congress can limit the worst practices of credit card companies before the full law takes effect.

People are having enough trouble making ends meet during this recession. The last thing they need is to spend another ten hours on the phone battling their credit card company," said Moran. "It´s time to put an end to the sort of tricks and fine print practices that have left too many people in a black hole of debt."

Yeah, let me try and squeeze a tear for the poor CFO's of the credit card companies....

HOME SWEET HOME STINKS!!!!

2009-10-29T15:13:00.000-07:00

I have been blessed with wonderful landlords in the past. From MI to our 1st year and a half here in FL. So this post is in no way meant for all landlords.

My husbands recent job loss due to my ex brother in-law's business offer, then yanked it away, made it necessary for us to find a place to live mid-September. So we left a wonderful landlord that I am sure would have understood we had fallen on hard times but my pride stepped in and I in no way wanted her to think we were taking advantage of her. As for my ex brother in-law, I am letting God deal with him.

I really wasn't going to post this but since I came to my senses today and decided today I won't sit back and let our landlord treat us like this, well here goes....

Last Friday, my husband started complaining of an odor in the kitchen corner/wall. If you have read any of my past posts you may remember we discovered after only a week after we moved in that we found out we had a septic tank. Anyway, I thought the 'smell' was from that. So we used deodorizer safe for septics. It did not help. It dawned on me in the middle of the night (since I couldn't sleep) that it might be a dead animal. I have never experienced such a problem. I could not think of anything else it could be. The odor was THAT bad.

Each day the smell got worse! This confirmed my fear. We tried spray, moth balls, etc. But just traded one bad smell for another.

Yesterday I finally called the land lord. As she has been awful since we moved in, why oh why, did I think this would be any different? She basically said - yes it was probably a dead animal. Nothing she could do about it. We would have to 'wait it out and deal with it'.

Now 2 years ago, before vertigo, I wouldn't let anyone treat me in such a manner. But sadly, a little of the fire God gave me has dwindled.

Today something kept telling me to NOT just accept this. Don't let her tell me to just deal with it!

So after speaking with the city code enforcement and then the county code enforcement and a great legal advice site: Just Answer Law, I was pointed in the right direction!

FLORIDA LAW:

83.51 Landlord's obligation to maintain premises.--

(1) The landlord at all times during the tenancy shall:

(a) Comply with the requirements of applicable building, housing, and health codes; or

(b) Where there are no applicable building, housing, or health codes, maintain the roofs, windows, screens, doors, floors, steps, porches, exterior walls, foundations, and all other structural components in good repair and capable of resisting normal forces and loads and the plumbing in reasonable working condition. However, the landlord shall not be required to maintain a mobile home or other structure owned by the tenant.

The landlord's obligations under this subsection may be altered or modified in writing with respect to a single-family home or duplex.

(2)(a) Unless otherwise agreed in writing, in addition to the requirements of subsection (1), the landlord of a dwelling unit other than a single-family home or duplex shall, at all times during the tenancy, make reasonable provisions for:

1. The extermination of rats, mice, roaches, ants, wood-destroying organisms, and bedbugs. When vacation of the premises is required for such extermination, the landlord shall not be liable for damages but shall abate the rent. The tenant shall be required to temporarily vacate the premises for a period of time not to exceed 4 days, on 7 days' written notice, if necessary, for extermination pursuant to this subparagraph.

2. Locks and keys.

3. The clean and safe condition of common areas.

4. Garbage removal and outside receptacles therefor.

5. Functioning facilities for heat during winter, running water, and hot water.

83.56 Termination of rental agreement.--

(1) If the landlord materially fails to comply with s. 83.51(1) or material provisions of the rental agreement within 7 days after delivery of written notice by the tenant specifying the noncompliance and indicating the intention of the tenant to terminate the rental agreement by reason thereof, the tenant may terminate the rental agreement. If the failure to comply with s. 83.51(1) or material provisions of the rental agreement is due to causes beyond the control of the landlord and the landlord has made and continues to make every reasonable effort to correct the failure to comply, the rental agreement may be terminated or altered by the parties, as follows:

(a) If the landlord's failure to comply renders the dwelling unit untenantable and the tenant vacates, the tenant shall not be liable for rent during the period the dwelling unit remains uninhabitable.

(b) If the landlord's failure to comply does not render the dwelling unit untenantable and the tenant remains in occupancy, the rent for the period of noncompliance shall be reduced by an amount in proportion to the loss of rental value caused by the noncompliance.

Our camper is in the drive way, AGAIN. I can't even imagine what we would do right now if we did not have a camper. So its been brought out of storage again. It is impossible to be in the house!

So basically it comes down to how she will react to my new found info. She will receive my Notorized letter in the morning. I am done trying to be nice and prefer to NOT give her another opportunity to treat me horribly again on phone as she did regarding the a/c and septic tank issues when we first moved in.

Yeah, the whole situation STINKS. Landlords ask for references when you begin the 'rental process'. Why can't WE as tenants ask for references???

SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE - THE NEW SEASON BEGINS!

2009-10-27T16:32:00.000-07:00

Last night, a special episode showcased each of the dancers in their own style and genre. Additionally, viewers got to learn more about the dancers. This is usually done later in the competition. What a totally awesome way to start the season.

The first group of dancers were the Hip Hop/Krump dance style. Kevin Hunte, Russell Ferguson and Legacy Perez.

My fav??? Russell Ferguson.

Russell Ferguson started dancing when he was 3 years old and began dancing professionally at age 6. He trained at the Boston Art Academy and has worked with Boston City Lights. His interests include acting, singing, drawing, rapping and making music.

Kevin Hunte is a close second.

Kevin Hunte has been dancing for nine years and cites Michael Jackson as his inspiration. He has performed with Lil Mama and Beyoncé. Hunte also models and has appeared in fashion shows.

At this point I know I should add more info regarding the other dancers, but none stole the show for me like these two.

All the dancers this year are excellent in their own right, but these guy's commands the stage!

Tonight the competition begins.

At the end of tonights episode, the judges will deliberate and then eliminate the first two dancers from the competition.

The season is off to a GREAT start!!!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!

2009-10-26T16:14:00.001-07:00

Our Halloween kitty, Rascal.

VERTIGO BE GONE??

2009-10-21T15:50:00.000-07:00

Well the results are in. This was not an 'OMG, we have an answer' moment at the drs but the blood work did show a few things. My B12 level is waaaaaay low, even though I take B12... Also shows allergies (we knew this) and getting over a virus (I did miss work Monday). But also what it showed is Hypothyroidism.

Tomorrow morning I begin taking Synthroid.

Does any of this have to do with the vertigo? We don't know. All I know is for the last year and a half - I ignored a lot of the symptoms. Or they were misinterpreted by other drs. So we will just move forward.

Do not follow where the path may lead. Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

HAPPY SATURDAY EVERYONE

2009-10-17T08:11:00.000-07:00

I don't have anything to post this morning since I don't have results of blood tests yet.

Just wanted to wish everone a happy Saturday!!

A friend posted this first clip on her FB this morning and I wanted to share it. I found the second one on You Tube and just had to add it.

VERTIGO UPDATE

2009-10-14T15:38:00.000-07:00

Going for blood work in the morning. I had blood work done back in June of 2008 by the Dr that tried to medicate me as 'depressed' since he didn't like the way I would question my care. And, of course, that information did not make it to my current Dr. when my records were transferred.

My doctor wants to check my thyroid levels. And surprisingly for the first time ever my blood pressure was high. My lower number was 90. It has never been over 70. But we are not counting out the stress that has seemed to bombard me for the last 2 months. So we will keep an eye on this. I love my Dr, even with the bad comb over. LOL.

I WILL CHOOSE TO LISTEN AND BELIEVE

2009-10-09T15:07:00.000-07:00

I drove to work today, like every day, listening to my favorite radio station here in Tampa Bay, The Joy FM. They have been a great source of encouragement thru my vertigo, and our move from MI in May 2008. We embarked on this great ‘leap of faith’ and although we have family here, it is hard to ignore the distance we feel from family and friends in MI. Perhaps we would not feel this as much if the recent struggles haven’t at times felt overwhelming? And deep down I know it is just a matter of time before everything turns around and we just feel ‘normal’ again.

This song in particular just seemed to grab a hold of me as soon as it came on:

Oh, what I would do to have
the kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown
Where Jesus is,
And he's holding out his hand

But the waves are calling out my name
and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
time and time again
"Boy, you'll never win,
you'll never win."

But the Voice of truth tells me a different story
the Voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the Voice of truth says "this is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth

Oh, what I would do
to have the kind of strength it takes
To stand before a giant
with just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound
of a thousand warriors
shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand

But the giant's calling out
my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
time and time again
"Boy you'll never win,
you'll never win."

But the stone was just the right size
to put the giant on the ground
and the waves they don't seem so high
from on top of them looking down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
when I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
singing over me
Casting Crowns

And a quote I heard after the song finished:

Remember to be in God’s Will and not in the worlds.

And so we press on…. Knowing tomorrow it can only get better!

HOLD FAST - HELP IS ON THE WAY

2009-10-08T16:09:00.000-07:00

Praying for some miracles!!

Perseverance: continuing in a course of action without regard to discouragement, opposition or previous failure.

Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith...Let us holdfast the confession of our hope without wavering. Hebrews 10:22-23.

MercyMe

To everyone who's hurting
To those who've had enough
To all the undeserving
That should cover all of us
Please do not let go
I promise there is hope

Hold fast
Help is on the way
Hold fast
He's come to save the day
What I've learned in my life
One thing greater than my strife
Is His grasp
So hold fast

SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE - NEW SEASON

2009-10-01T15:48:00.000-07:00

I am truly looking forward to the new season.

One's to watch from the New Orleans try-outs that made it thru to Las Vegas:

Kimalee Piedad

And these twins from the Atlanta try-outs:

This week will feature try-outs from Salt Lake City Utah.

And I guarantee I will be watching!!!!!!

HOME SWEET HOME..... NOT QUITE YET.....

2009-09-22T18:00:00.000-07:00

I don't like to type when I am upset or angry. I prefer to calm down and try to find the lesson or the bright side of the situation.

Let's rewind the last 2 weeks.....

Hanna was sick Tuesday when I came home from work. Poor baby had been vomiting during the day. As ill as she was I had to bathe her. She never minded a bath. And her favorite part was snuggling in the towel after. So I sat and cuddled her. Something down deep inside told me to stay close to her.

09/09/09 The next morning as I got ready for work she seemed restless. I layed her in her bed and she settled right down. When I checked on her 10 minutes later, she was at peace......

That eve, a wonderful company called Honor Thy Pet came to our home to pick up our sweet little Hanna for cremation. I have never used a company like this before. They were so compassionate and caring.

Friday, I took the day off from work to finish some packing for our move Saturday morning(12th). I had not gotten much done in the last few days as you can well imagine. Our cat was walking around the house yowling, looking for Hanna. Our other dachshund Precious looked so sad. She has these remarkable expressive eyes - that seemed to feel our every emotion.

My brother arrived early Saturday and he and my husband began loading the moving truck. When they arrived at the new house with the 1st truck load, they discovered the air conditioning was not working. Ugh! Its Florida, in the summer! My brother did what he could with the outside unit, but it was fried. We called the land lady - as we signed a 1 yr lease. But reaching anyone to repair it on the weekend was impossible. So she said. I thought the rainy weather would make the move miserable, but it happened to be a blessing. The cloud cover gave us some relief.

Sunday the vertigo was really bad. I was not much help with the work that was left and struggled to clean the house we were leaving behind.

Monday the air conditioning company that came out to look at the unit quoted very high and they could not change the compressor for 2 weeks. She said she would call another company. She told us she would not cash our security deposit ck because of the air being out. Well, I thanked God, not her.

Tuesday morning I discovered the toilet wouldn't flush in the new house. It seems the septic tank was full. Hmmm, I did not know we even had a septic tank. Might have been nice to know this.

By Wednesday of last week the air was fixed and the septic had been drained.

It was a busy and exhausting couple of weeks.

This past weekend we managed to get a lot of the unpacking done.

I thought of everything that I managed to get thru the last 2 weeks. This morning I told myself to get out of the gloomy mood I have been in. Mourning my pet and feeling like the world is beating me up is no reason to not enjoy the day God has given me. I enjoyed the little things today. The sunrise on my drive to work. The breath taking view crossing the Bayside Bridge.

This afternoon my husband called me at work and the land lady had put the ck thru! When I called her on my way home from work and asked her why she had put the ck thru when she said she would shred it - she said she only agreed to not put it thru if the company could not get the air going for 2 wks. She put it thru because the other company fixed the problem. Well obviously that was as clear as mud. She didn't care that it caused things to bounce. There was no talking to her and she would not budge. She did not see how this was her problem.....

I hate to admit it, but I just feel apart. The weight of the last 2 weeks had finally hit. Once I got home, my husband couldn't even console me. I headed for the computer. I love technology. I vented via email since I don't have a qwearty keyboard on my cell phone for texting. My sister in law lended her shoulder. :) I looked at a line I had in my email to her: 'I just always look at the bright side but when it slams me from behind - I crumble, only for a few'. I guess thats when God steps in, cause I get the strength to get back up.

I sit here and think of all that's involved in a move. It is a very stressful time. But, you unpack and enjoy your new surroundings..... Or so I've heard.

Home, Sweet, Home.... not quite yet...

MY FAVORITE PASSAGE FROM THE BIBLE

2009-09-11T11:00:00.000-07:00

Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future".

My favorite passage from the bible.

AMERICAN IDOL REPLACES PAULA ABDUL

2009-09-11T08:16:00.000-07:00

I have watched American Idol since the 1st day. My husband breaths a sigh of relief when the winner is announced and my texting votes will cease for a few months.

Ellen DeGeneres has been named as Paula Abdul's replacement. I don't know if I will love or hate this. Honestly.

Ellen was a guest judge on another favorite show of mine: So You Think You Can Dance.
She was funny, but she was only there for 2 shows. Which was fine because the comments were beginning to get irritating.

With the American Idol judges, every judge has something that qualifies them to critque the performers. She truly has no qualifications except the 'performer' aspect.

I am looking forward to the new season and I hope she can bring something relevant to the show and not cause me to begin tuning out....

ONLY YOU CAN LOVE ME THIS WAY

2009-09-11T05:34:00.000-07:00

As I look around and see moving boxes and close my eyes for a minute to just shut out the craziness of the last few weeks - a song came on the radio....

Keith Urban's new song:

Well I know there’s a reason
And I know there’s a rhyme
We were meant to be together
That’s why----
We can roll with the punches
We can stroll hand in hand
And when I say it’s forever
You understand---

That you’re always in my heart,
You’re always on my mind
But when it all becomes too much,
You’re never far behind
And there’s no one that comes close to you
Could ever take your place
Cause only you can love me this way

I could have turned a different corner
I could have gone another place
Then I’d of never had this feeling
That I feel today, yeah.

Only you can love me this way.

My husband, my best friend. Almost 17 years....

My husband knows God comes first. And for that HE blessed me with true love.

ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN

2009-09-09T15:42:00.000-07:00

She jumped around like a puppy. I couldn't believe she was 11 years old. A long haired black dachshund with the typical tan eyebrows and feet.

The care giver at the animal shelter said she took her home every night. She had been placed in a home for 1 month and the family brought her back and they said she was 'snippy' and 'sneaky' and she could not be house broken. I said "well, they just didn't have patience". We pulled into a drive thru on the way home and discovered Hanna's love for french fries. We took her home and introduced her to our Bouvier des Flandres 'Cuddles' and our short haired red dachshaund 'Precious'. Although 'Hanna' was the smallest of the 3 - she immediately let them know she was in charge.

Cuddles could have squashed her with one paw but our gentle giant loved her. Precious thought she had someone to rough house with. Wrong. Hanna preferred to be on a lap and would NEVER run after a toy like Precious. They each had their own personalities.

Some people said 'wow, 11 years old. Why did you get a dog so old?' I didn't care if we had her a day or a few years - we were going to give her the best home possible.

This morning our sweet Hanna passed away. She was almost 17 years old.

Although we grieve, we know she is in a better place. I am sure she has already hopped into my grandma's waiting arms.

My sister-in-law sent me this today:

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge .

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

If you are considering getting a pet, please think about adoption. We found our sweet Hanna on Pet Finder.com and though we only had her for 6 yrs it felt like forever.

HOPE FOR THE BEST

2009-09-03T19:05:00.000-07:00

"Hope for the best, plan for the worst". I heard this in a song today by Tracy Lawrence. Titled "It's up to Him".

My brother uses that saying all the time. So it really hit me and I was glued to every word.

I've leaned on him many times over the years. And recently, with an unexpected cut in my husbands work hours, my brother has come thru yet again.

I'm blessed to have a brother like him!

Thank you Lord!

TRYING TO FIND MY WAY......

2009-09-01T15:00:00.000-07:00

Just feeling a little worn out today. Making some tough decisions....

REVELATION BY THIRD DAY seems to keep coming to mind.

Give me a revelation,
Show me what to do
Cause I’ve been tryin’ to find my way,
I haven’t got a clue
Tell me should I stay here,
Or do I need to move
Give me a revelation
I’ve got nothing without You

My life has led me down this path that’s ever winding
Through every twist and turn I’m always finding,

HURRICANE KATRINA - GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN

2009-08-28T18:59:00.000-07:00

It was not Mardi Gras when I visited. But I will never forget my time there. It was the week before Mothers Day. Just a few short months before Katrina. What an incredible town!!!! People that love their city, jazz concerts in the park, crossing the Mississippi by ferry, street cars, the French Quarter, playing the fool in front of the live web cams located thru out the city, the shops along Bourbon St, local musicians playing on every corner, the food, beignets, the beads (I bought these, truly, lol), the boas, the grave yards, the Garden District. The town was alive night and day.

I spent a week with one of my dearest friends and her family. Her family, her church members and the community made me feel so at home. I learned something that week. Don't ever drink a Hurricane and a Handrenade in the same night. LOL. I missed the picnic at Lake Pontchartrain and spent that Mothers Day in bed. I was as green as the famous Handgrenade container. LOL.

Just a few short months later, I watched the tv as this horrific storm headed towards New Orleans. As reports started reviewing what 'could' happen - I was on the phone with my friend asking if they were leaving. "No - its just another storm. It will be ok." We started to lose phone contact. Thank God text messages were getting thru. I begged them to leave. Finally a text came thru and said they were leaving for Tennessee, at least for a few days. And she wished me Happy Birthday which was the very next day. I did not breath a sigh of relief until I got the text that they had arrived safely. 8 hours before the levees broke and New Orleans was under water.

What they put in their trunk - was all they had.

Many citizens decided they would stay, stubborn or stoic or too poor to have much choice. As for the ones packing up to go, disaster officials told them to take a look around before they left, because it might never look the same again.

The White House staff, FEMA, the Army, the federal or state - it seemed no one knew how to make a decision. The government aid efforts were in complete chaos. The Superdome where the roof peeled and the rain poured in - had everyone inside with no light, no air, no working toilets. Mothers screamed for rescue, holding their children and sobbing.

For years, researchers have warned exactly what would happen if a hurricane hit New Orleans and the surrounding Gulf region. They predicted that the city levees would not hold. Their elaborate computer models showed that tens of thousands would be left behind. They described rooftop rescues, 80% of New Orleans could be under water. Fixing the problem would have been expensive--in the billions. But certainly less costly than the Katrina recovery turned out to be. How could they let this happen???

I watched the news helplessly as people suffered. Then the severe storms to follow along the Mississippi coast.

As rescuers finally started to go into the neighborhoods to find people trapped in their homes - pounding on roofs from the inside, trapped in attics as the waters rose. The lucky ones were able to cut holes with knives and axes to reach the open air. Emergency workers hovered from house to house, plucking out the living, leaving bodies behind. In the few hospitals left operating, the staff fought to keep people alive until rescue came, only to have days pass with no relief. The images of corpses floating in the flood waters....

I urged the company I was working for to allow me to start gathering food, money and clothing to send to them. We all pulled together. Although my friend and her family were safe - it was clear they would not be allowed back in the city for weeks. At best. We had things gathered / packed and delivered even before FEMA began to studder and try to blame the disaster recovery on anyone but themselves.

One of the local bands I enjoyed while I was there was intermittently communicating via there website. They described their drive from the city. They stopped several times to pick up those needing a ride in their van. They began leaving their instruments along the side of the road, to make room. I played the cd over and over and prayed for everyone I knew and everyone I had met.

Willow Family Band

Liam's Lullaby

We'll sit in the shade
Of an oak tree in N'Awlins.
Sit under a street lamp,
And watch it glow.
All of the pictures.
All of the colors.
We'll walk through the square.
There's so much to know.
We'll share this city.
Baby, we'll share this country.
We'll travel through mountains.
We'll swim in the sea.
I promise to love you.
I'll never leave you.
Though I know someday,
You'll choose to leave me.
But we can always remember
The shade of the oak tree,
And the songs that we sang together.

As days turned into weeks, we began to focus our collection efforts on the shelters. I called several to see what their biggest needs were and that is what we sent. Make shift animal shelters were in dire need too for the animals that were reluctantly abandoned or people were not allowed to take them into the shelters.

Reports on Hurricane Katrina began to spew of racism, as some were accused of looting, while others were merely forging for supplies. Of all the reports no one bothered to speak the truth on the murders in Algiers Point. Anyone stumbling into that area risked being shot, as vigilantes protected what they they 'claimed to be theirs'.

I was truly ashamed to be white.

Survivors were housed in trailers. These were loaded with formaldehyde and crime for people to 'rebuild their lives'?

It’s hard to remember what life was like before Katrina. My thoughts and prayers are with all those that were affected that day and years later.

Personally - I remember and shall never forget.

VERTIGO - IS IT IN THE CARDS?

2009-08-26T15:56:00.000-07:00

So my dr. and I have decided to focus on the herniated discs (6&7)in my neck as the underlying cause of my vertigo. The other drs had no clue - so why not?

The last 2 weeks have been traction, decompression and spinal / neck adjustments. I have noticed a better range of motion in my neck, which has made it nice when I have to back out of a parking space. But no improvement with the vertigo! I am giving it some time since the specialist insists he can 'fix' me. And believe me, I was really discouraged the first few visits and I told him he was way out of my price range. We settled on a plan which straps us weekly but is do-able. So I am hopeful.

Today has been particularly bad for the vertigo. Not sure if its the rain that moved in or not. I try to ignore the other symptoms: times of confusion, shakey hands (mostly in the morning) and nausea (from the vertigo). Today has been really rough. By the end of the day I am exhausted.

On my drive home from work (during a lightning storm and blinding rain)something came to mind. Back in Dec, just for fun, I let my sister-in-law do a card reading on me. With my faith - these types of things are considered 'dark' - so I am very cautious about anything along these lines. But, if you knew my sister-in-law you would agree she is not 'dark'. She is one of the most level-headed people I know. I can always count on her to give me a 'real' answer in a conversation, not just a what I think I want to hear. She has a way of seeing both sides of a situation. I respect her views and she respects mine. But also I remember something that has always stayed with me over the years: be careful of advice and don't let it take place of "Godly" advice. Meaning: be careful who you listen to as they can lead you astray. And I think we have all been there.

Anyway, below is the reading, with her friends interpretation, since this was one of her first readings:

Here is what I got for Dave's sister:

Her question was "Would her health problems be resolved?"

I did a 5 cards spread

1. king of swords
2. queen of swords
3. 8 cups
4. Chariot
5. The tower

While she was shuffling - the queen of cups fell out of the deck.
I know kind of her situation and I think that she is gonna tell her dr (who I saw as the 1st card) to 'get lost' but before she can do that she has to work with him to get what she needs put in her chart for possible legal advice. I take the queen of cups that fell out as a friend of the family who is very 'motherly' to Dave's sister, she told me she has been giving her a lot of advice lately.

What do you think ?

Friends input:

You are doing good so far! It’s funny, I thought the king was her doc too before I started reading your interpretation. And you are also right about the queen meaning she had some work to do. Because they are the king and queen of the same suite, and right next to each other, the work is with each other. Because they are swords, the work with probably involve some disagreements (crossing swords).

Next you have the 8 of cups, walking away from something. After the work is done, she’s still going to have to walk away from the situation, but the chariot is a sign of victory as well as movement so the walking away is necessary before she can ‘move on’ and ‘win’.

The last card is the most important in this spread. Had it been a pentacle or a cup - THAT would have been really good for a health question. Unfortunately it’s the tower, which means sudden catastrophic change, the foundations of her beliefs being shaken up. She not only has to let go and move on from the doctor, she has to totally give up whatever she thinks is right/happening to find the right diagnosis. It means whatever she thinks is wrong is not the answer....

I took this reading from my email and filed it away. At the time of this reading - I had ended up in the urgent care and almost the same day got the results of my MRI back which revealed the herniated discs and a small lesion on the brain which a neurologist said was from the 'shaking' of my head during the accident. Yeah, I thought, we finally had an answer. Or do we?

It is the last line of the reading that came to my mind today. Because I know the symptoms can be caused by other things. I have been through everything on the internet during my battle with horrible drs and WebMD. I try not to think too far ahead and give my dr time to rule things out.

Well, all I know is my faith is stronger than its ever been. Maybe I should be thankful for the vertigo? It certainly has changed my world.

Well, whatever happens, I'm not alone.

DREAMS

2009-08-22T06:09:00.000-07:00

Why do we dream of loved one's that have gone before us? I believe it is God's way of letting them be near us for just a short time, once in a while. Yes, we must move on. And know that feeling melancholy or down from time to time is ok. But, do not let depression take over.

I have had dreams of my Mom, my sister Sandy and Grandma. My dad has been in one with everyone and my sister Debbie was there. She has not passed. I was scared for her because she is in an abusive relationship. But the dream was comforting and I felt they were all watching over her to keep her safe. And this was their way of letting me know that.

I have had dreams about them during very tough times in my life and wonderful high periods in my life. And just seeing their faces for a little while brought so much peace.

Before leaving MI in April 2008:

I dreamt last night the truck was packed and we were ready to go
I had Grandma and Sandy with me, how did they know?
But we were moving them back to their place - back in Royal Oak,
They wanted us to drop them off and told us to hit the road.

We walked in the door and everything looked the same
They said to unload their things and we could be on our way.
It was so good to see them together and they were glad to be back home
I wanted to stay and visit but they said “it’s time for you to go”.

I wanted to ask about Barb and Mom, but it didn’t feel quite right
Maybe they’ll be in a different dream - on another night.
So reluctantly I turned to leave and left them with a smile
I felt I had their blessings as we look forward to each new mile.

I had not dreamt of my sister Barb for 6 months after she was gone. Which bothered me. Then I realized God probably had her watching over others and giving them peace in their dreams.

A dream I had last year on this date:

I couldn’t believe it when I saw you! My heart surely must have skipped a beat. You looked absolutely radiant. Your smile even more beautiful than I remember. The room was sooo crowded. It seemed to take forever to wind my way through the people to where you were seated at that table. (I bet you were enjoying a hot cup of coffee... LOL) I thought for sure by the time I made it through the crowd – that you would be gone again. But there you were. I couldn’t find words. Your eyes had a peaceful glint. I wanted to tell you how much we all miss you, talk about everything that has happened since you left, hear how much you enjoyed our brothers wedding, laugh with you about our niece's' little song she now had for me and enjoy hearing the sound of your laugh and tell you for the gazillionth time “I love you”. There was so much to say. Where to start? You didn’t speak a word. But your eyes said everything we needed to say. They always have.

I wanted to hold your hand once again but the world stepped in and the alarm clock went off……

"Sisters are born to each other. God has given a gift that is great. Being true sisters means loving, and listening when problems loom grand. No one's comfort or kindness could feel better, than the touch of a sister's kind hand. Complaining of life's hassles and hurting, or simply meeting each other for fun, a sister's friendship and warm gentle greeting, is like basking in the bright sun. Sisters always find time to share laughter, or to argue a point or complain, for there are times when sisters will differ, but their love will always remain!

YOUR OWN JESUS - NEW BOOK BY MARK HALL OF CASTING CROWNS

2009-08-20T17:42:00.000-07:00

An interview this morning on my radio station TheJOYFM,with Mark Hall, lead singer of CastingCrowns!

Mark Hall's new book arrives at book stores everywhere today. Here is a product description. (I will be getting this book as soon as I can afford to!)

Too many people inherit somebody else’s Jesus, mimicking what they see in their family, friends, and pastor rather than facing the need to find their own Jesus. If we exist on someone else’s faith, we will miss the spiritual vitality and joy that comes from our own journey and in times of trouble we will find an empty well to draw from.

Today, so many are fearful of the unknown – a crumbling economy, job loss, loneliness, terrorism, tragic news around every corner.

We are overwhelmed.

Does the security and peace that should come from knowing we are in the hands of a loving God now seem to be an empty promise?

Perhaps that’s because we have built our foundation on someone else’s faith – parents’, friend’s, or pastor’s, so we merely inherit a relationship with Jesus, but never find our own.

A true storyteller and a teacher with a heart for ministry. Mark Hall traces the tragic, downward spiral that leads to a life of fear and spiritual compromise, and then charts the hopeful, upward road to the joy and confidence that comes when we claim "Your Own Jesus" (this is the book title).

SERIOUSLY, GET A LIFE.....!

2009-08-20T16:58:00.000-07:00

An unfortunate mistake led my daughters’ fiancé's parents to the discovery of her blog and since that time she has endured their attempts to silence her, and enlighten their son about her "toxic" personality.

She is a feminist who writes about feminist issues. She also writes about homosexuality, transgender issues, racism etc. She started her blog to analyze literature as well as current issues.

She does not post names of relatives or co-workers. I am a frequent reader of her site.

She has been careful not to mention her blogging in front of her fiancé's family. Knowing their political leanings are exactly the things she blogs against.

The day they found her site, they called / emailed their son. She shares every post with him and they share a computer, he is welcome to read every post. They accused her of saying negative things about him and his family, vulgar links, videos – blah, blah, blah….

They urged their son to cut her out of his life. I particularly liked the question they posed: "This is the world of the mother of our future grandchildren?" Someday they will be MY grandchildren. How dare you!!

My husband and I do not have a lot of money. We work hard. We live paycheck to paycheck, mixed with a bad economy. But believe me when you hear the rest of this you will agree with me when I say – they may have a lot of money but I am richer than they will EVER be.

They revoked their offer to pay for their wedding. Wow, now what??? Back to planning a wedding BEFORE the offer. Duh. When that ploy didn’t work, they told him they weren't paying for his car or health insurance any more, as well as a few other things they'd agreed to take care of while he was still in med school.

They proceeded to lecture her - indirectly in an email to him: Stop blogging, get another job, don’t sit around and wait to be the doctor’s wife – blah, blah, blah…..

Very judgmental words coming from a man who works and a woman who stays at home to raise the kids (not that that doesn't count as work, but you CAN’T condemn someone for doing the very thing you're engaging in). Hmmm. That is called being a hypocrite.

Maybe now they've realized there’s nothing left to take and she’s not going anywhere. She has been with her fiancé more than five years, and there recent discovery of who she is - speaks volumes of their attempts to get to know her over the years.

They recently sent an email directly to her, with a sort of apology. They asked how she will raise her children. Her blog mentioned she is not good at / doesn't like math, science, or sports. They wanted to know if she would accept a child who is good at or interested in these things.

Do you see where this is going????

So basically, what they sent was an application for her to marry their son, and produce their grandchildren under the pretence that they desired to finally get to know her.

They read her posts and immediately deemed her unworthy to be their son's wife and made assumptions about her potential ‘bad mothering’ qualifications.

I am extremely insulted and hurt that people who will soon be part of her family / our family can be so cruel.

They have said they are offended / uncomfortable caused by something they read on her blog My daughters friend often posts: "If this post isn’t about you - there is no need to make it about you, however if it makes you uncomfortable, I suggest you stop and think about why." AMEN.

Now here is my struggle with this. I am to forgive.

Lord – we need to talk……

MARRIAGE 101

2009-08-16T09:11:00.001-07:00

What our children see - growing up - is what they think marriage should be. Have you been an example of what they should be when they grow up? And not just what they see. Often times it is what they hear too. They can hear from another room, even when you don't think they can. How do you resolve conflict with your spouse? This is something they learn from you too! Do they feel tension when you tell them everything is OK?

Personally, I wanted my kids to see marriage as: Love, friendship, trust, supportive, encouragement, kindness, forgiveness, patience and most of all an open affection for one another.

Think about it. Is this what your children see?

What our children see growing up is what they think marriage should be.

Have they seen a good example for when they become adults?

We spend years guiding them in 'right and wrong'. Teach them lessons to make them think for themselves. And we protect them too. Lets not forget 'stranger danger' and how to say no. And we encourage their imaginations and aspirations to grow.

Then they grow up and take all these examples and lessons with them. Its all there. Encourage it and be supportive! Trust that the foundation you put in place will help them as they find their way. And remember, your words have the power of keeping them close or alienating them forever.

Personal note:
My daughter is getting married next year. As a young couple, they will go thru struggles. That's what will strengthen them as they grow. Be individuals but 1 heart. Don't let anyone interfere with your dreams. Even family. Someday your writing career will surpass a Dr's. salary.

I've asked God to watch over you, that's all you need. :)

Mommy Grandeur

SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE - INSPIRED BY BREAST CANCER

2009-08-15T17:17:00.000-07:00

Giving emotional support to a loved one with cancer is not easy. There is just nothing simple about it. It hurts. Keep in mind that your strength will make them even stronger. Remember when caring for a loved one: Listen, love and most of all laugh. Allow them the opportunity to have the comfort of sharing.

"So You Think You Can Dance," contestants Melissa and Ade performed a contemporary routine inspired by breast cancer, choreographed by Tyce Diorio. I dedicate this to anyone who has been effected cancer. Sorry this was in July but the video clips kept getting pulled from youtube.

I was moved to tears as I thought of my sisters battle with cervical cancer during ever jump and move.

The coping process will, or should, eventually lead to acceptance and an ability to move on, but it can take time. Treasure every minute, say “I Love You” often, and you will not 'regret' later.

GRADUATION

2009-08-15T13:08:00.000-07:00

Many parents don't know how to put into words when their kids graduate. This was a post back in June. Carmen read hers on the air from the radio station I listen to every morning, I was in tears. The words have stayed with me.

My daughter asked that I say a few words at her wedding next year. It probably won't be as touching as Carmen's - but I will try! ;)

Carmen's blog

SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE - ADDICTION

2009-08-15T11:41:00.000-07:00

I have decided to re-post this. There are many forms of addiction. I have a family member in MI that has an addiction to prescription pain medication. Yes, my reason for being so cautious when it comes to drs. I keep him in my prayers and ask that you do too.

I have loved this show from day one!

Kupono and Kayla dancing to Gravity. Choreographed by Mia Michaels.

NEEDTOBREATHE

2009-08-14T16:27:00.000-07:00

Heard this on my radio station. Love it!
http://www.thejoyfm.com/

WORDS TO LIVE BY

2009-08-14T15:41:00.000-07:00

Our angry, reckless, careless or critical words are bullets - and it's all too easy to pull that trigger. In fact, it takes the help of God and our personal discipline to keep from firing off a round of wounding words. But once you pull that trigger, there's no way to get that round back. Long after you've forgotten what you said, that person is still feeling the hurt of it, still hearing it over and over again in their heart. The words take a moment; the wounds can last for years.

It's almost as if we have this verbal chain saw in our mouth that keeps cutting people we care about. It may be that you've been doing this for so long you hardly even notice how destructive your words are. But the people who are hearing them are not only noticing your words, it's quite possible they'll never forget them.

Hutch Craft

A POST REQUEST FROM MY HUSBAND

2009-08-13T16:07:00.000-07:00

My kids are the best. It doesn't matter they are 'step kids'. I LOVE MY KIDS!

My daughter is a writer and she 'wrote' my Fathers Day day present this year and it was the best!

They always say whats on their mind. My kids make me very proud.

My daughter is going to get married next year. I am soooo happy for her. They make a cute couple.

My son has a girlfriend. She is cool. He is finally going to get his drivers license. He does a lot of rap music. He makes his own songs and music beats.

I hope people with kids, steps kids or not, are as proud of them as me and my wife.

Signed: #1 DAD

UPDATE FROM MERCYME'S TOUR BUS ACCIDENT

2009-08-13T15:48:00.000-07:00

I heard the update this morning on my way to work and still find it hard to put into words. The dj on radio station played a song that kept going thru my head at work. Please keep everyone in your prayers!!

** Along with many of you, we have learned of the passing of the driver of the car from the accident on Saturday. Our hearts continue to break for these families and all those who knew them. We continue to pray and ask your prayers for everyone affected by this accident, that God would bring healing, comfort, peace and understanding at a time when they are desperately needed.

MercyMe

A SISTERS LOVE

2009-08-10T17:49:00.000-07:00

I remember when the phone call came. I knew it was coming, in fact I prayed it would come. I heard my brothers voice (from FL) and I crumbled to the kitchen floor sobbing. My poor husband was even at a loss of how to help me. You just never know how you are going to react. My sisters battle with cancer was finally over. How did her family physician prescribe high doses of vicodin for pain instead of finding the source? I won't even begin to try and explain the turmoil of those events. We knew two things: It was cervical cancer and it was terminal. However long we had - I was going to cherish every minute with her. Then reality stepped in. Dealing with the '5 steps'. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. And she went thru them too. She had this fiery temper that matched her red hair. And as she went thru her 'steps' I seemed to go thru them at a different time. We had times in the past when we clashed and now was no different, but in the end we had this incredible bond. She was the oldest sister and I was the baby. Watching her faith over the years made such a strong impact on my life. When our father died she counseled me as she mourned. I would not go in his hospital room but she knew I was there to support her. I was so angry at him for walking away from me and my brothers when my mother died. I came to realize she knew a different father than we did. She had happy memories. Somehow my brothers and I did not see that kind of man. With her help, I truly found my way to forgiveness. This beautiful, vibrant woman would slowly deteriorate before my very eyes.

She refused chemo and had several radiation treatments and went home. Her days were now filled with family, nurses from hospice, and her priest. We found humor in the hard times too.

I fired her hospice nurse on the first day. Barb said she did not feel she was the right nurse. We both agreed she had to have just the right person. I told her don't worry about a thing, I would take care of it. I was going to make everything run smoothly for her. Haaaa. The nurse was back at the door the next week. I asked my sister why she insisted she come back when I did what she asked. She said she liked the nurse and could not understand why I fired her. I left it at that and "Laura" and I had a standing joke - "you're fired". This wonderful nurse kept my sisters spirit and determination going. Hospice is truly a special kind of breed. I am forever grateful for the care and support they gave my sister and family.

Her priest was this kind old gent, retired from the nearby Catholic church. He wanted to keep busy and he visited the home bound. My sister loved him. He would give her communion and they would pray and her would play his harmonica for her. He was particularly fond of Irish music. My sister would request a song from time to time, but when her strength began to fade - he would just play a tune and it brought such a calm peace to her.

Then I started noticing 'skeletons falling out of the closet' at every turn during my visits. She painted this picture perfect world for the family to see. How sad. I left that between her and God.

I focused on inviting family to send ornaments to decorate her Christmas tree and planned a surprise family reunion and 75 of our friends. ;) "We are family" had become a theme song for us over the years and now was no different.

As the 'pain control' began the conversations slowly disappeared. I slowly watched my sister drifting away from us. I reminded myself everyday how blessed I was to have this time with her. Her words were few in her last weeks and I treasure every one. Her faith never wavered.

She was given a few weeks possibly months and we were grateful for the year 1/2 God gave us.

I was told Laura attended the funeral, but I missed speaking with her. I called Hospice a few days later and asked to speak with her. I left a message since she was out of the office with a patient: 'You're fired'. Oh, the poor receptionist went silent. I asked her to please give Laura the message exactly as I said and that she would understand. I received a call a couple hours later - she was laughing so hard she was crying. So was I. I know my sister was too.

"We can cry with hope, We can say goodbye with hope, 'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end......"

MERCYME TOUR BUS ACCIDENT - PRAYERS NEEDED

2009-08-10T16:26:00.000-07:00

The Christian music group MercyMe were involved in a bus accident following their show in Ft. Wayne, Indiana at 1:15 a.m. Saturday morning. According to police, a 18 year old driver suddenly pulled into the path of MercyMe's tour bus. The driver who was 35 weeks pregnant survived the crash, but is listed in critical condition. Her baby was born stillborn shortly after the accident. The 19-year old and 17 year old passengers in the car were killed.

No one on MercyMe's tour bus was hurt in the accident.

Keep every one in your prayers!!!

LET'S TALK ABOUT VERTIGO!

2009-07-27T15:32:00.000-07:00

I consider my self an expert. Most people that have experienced vertigo - have had it on an intermittent or short term basis. I have had it non-stop since April 08. What is vertigo? Vertigo is the feeling that you or your environment is moving when no movement occurs. Imprecisely called dizziness, the term vertigo is the specific term used to describe an illusion of movement. Typically an inner ear problem is the source. But NOT always. I have spent the last 1 1/2 years trying to find answers as well as a decent dr. I had one dr sending me for tests, blood work and and basically talked over me when he had asked ME a question. Sent me to an ENT and a Neurologist. I had to be patient as my records came from MI, he said his wife had vertigo and he understood, avoid stairs, ladders and blah, blah, blah. In the end he tried to put me on an antidepressant since he couldn't resolve the vertigo or pin point the cause. I tell you, whatever you do, remember YOU have a voice in your medical care. I was getting sooooo frutrated trying to keep up with a new job, a new chapter of our journey here in FL and the drs wearing me out and any energy left the vertigo was slowly zapping. I go to bed sick and wake up tired. Everyday duties at work have to be checked and double checked. Attention to detail is vital in my job and when you feel confused or can't remember if all the necessary steps have been done, it very frustrating! If you don't think it is a life changing experience, I beg to differ. Simple things I love: yard work, basketball with my 'baby' brother, volley ball in the pool with my neice or my kids or simply taking walks with my husband are things I took for granted. And to walk thru a store and actually have to look around for something. OMG. Or walk thru a parking lot and look for my car. I avoided going under water in my new pool thinking it was my ears causing problems. My jetski has been parked since before the accident which happened in April 07. And if you know MI the weather was not nice enough until at least June for jetskiing. So it never came out of winter mode. That jetski was my get-away from the world when I needed ME time. Will I be able to ever go to Busch Gardens and enjoy a rollercoaster ride (which I love)now that we live near one of the best parks ever? My everyday world had changed! Just before last Christmas I ended up in the urgent care with neck pain and headaches. It turned out after an MRI, that the problem is due to a car accident I had had before we moved from MI. I have 2 herniated discs in my neck. The "oh so wonderful" dr I referred to earlier had literally screamed at me when I asked him if the vertigo may possibly be something to do with the car accident. Honestly, one of the most awful men I have met in my entire life. He scribbled the script for the MRI and I never went back. Jerk - sorry Lord... That sent me on my quest for yet another dr. The orthopedic specialist wanted to do surgerty. Not unless that is my only option. I have been thru several surgerys and would rather not. I always say God moves me -- often shoves me in the direction I need to go. My husband had hurt his back. How could I recommend a good dr to him when I had not found one yet? This dr was focusing on 'sinus & ears'. Geez. Should I send my hubby to the dr I was currently seeing - but was not happy with? The dr was very busy that day and my husband had to see his partner. He said this dr reminded him of our dr we loved in MI. Was I up to changing drs yet AGAIN? So with my husbands recommendation I changed my next appt to see Dr Russell. Well, after a few visits he belives the vertigo has eveything to do with the herniated discs and the accident and we are moving forward. We are NOT focusing on surgery as our only option.

I will keep you posted. Thank you Lord for the 'nudge'. :)

WE ARE FAMILY

2009-07-26T09:40:00.000-07:00

“We are family” was one of your favorite songs
I cry when I hear it - now that you’re gone.
I promised you we would play it when your “time” came
We did what you asked & we cried thru the pain.

It still doesn’t seem real; I wait for the phone to ring
“Its time for us to get together”, just one of our things.
Months would go by - before we could meet
It only felt like a day went by & we didn’t miss a beat.

We would sit and talk for hours; order coffee or food
I was struggling with forgiveness & you helped me thru.
We forgave each other for cross words & the tears flowed
I’m so glad I had time to thank you & it was ok “to go”.

We are family! We play it and think of you
Not just for your sisters, but your brothers too.
It has new meaning to you - for where you are now
Faith will get me thru it & I know you’re smiling down…

written March 6, 2008

YESTERDAY

2009-07-26T09:32:00.000-07:00

YESTERDAY

Yesterday was a beautiful sunny day
Today it’s rainy, but they’re all the same
Everyday I smile but you’re always on my mind
I’m just trying to get through the everyday grind.

The winding road home day after day – feels so alone
The same roads I drove everyday to your home
I miss your boisterous laugh and the warmth of your smile
As I remind myself your with God, mile after mile.

Yesterday I had one of those days full of appointments
As I waited for one, I had to hide my disappointment
I noticed in my cell phone – your name and number were still there
I realized I could no longer call you and it’s just not fair.

Some days I feel strong and some days I feel weak
No sense in holding on to the past, so I sadly hit ‘delete’
Music and loved ones help as I hold back the tears
You’re more than a memory and you will be for years.

Yesterday is gone but it’s still hard to understand
I have to remember these things are not in my hands
I remember the times that I helped make you smile
I keep your picture near me and it helps for awhile…..

Written March 27, 2008 (my sister passed 2/3/2008)

THIS IS MY JOURNEY

2009-07-24T15:29:00.000-07:00

There have been events in my life that have moved me toward FAITH, where others may pull in the other direction. My mother died when I was 11. My father was an alcoholic; my mother was too – behind her closed bedroom door. I am the baby of 8: 4 sisters, and 3 brothers. I grew up in the Detroit area. Born in the early 60’s (let’s leave it at that. ha) I moved to my grandmothers. My brothers moved in with our older sisters. I married shortly after graduating from high school. To a man I convinced myself was nothing like my father. How could he be when he had a job and worked hard everyday? I have a daughter and a son – which is what I always wanted. When my son was 3 months old, my sister Sandy became suddenly ill and was on life support within one day of being admitted into the hospital. She was gone in 8 weeks, at the age of 34. My sister Pat and I always wondered, what would we have done differently had we know Sandy would be gone so unexpectedly from our lives? I believed Sandy was now an angel and would help me thru what was to come. Barely a year later - I filed for divorce. A house filled with booze and verbal abuse is not a place to raise kids. Then the doubt crept in – did I make the right decision? How could I do this to my kids? I remember asking for God to please bring someone into my life that they could love. We were a package deal!! And HE did. Still - 17 years later – I thank HIM everyday! And of course the pets I have had and mourned with their loss. In Oct 06, my oldest sister was diagnosed with terminal cervical cancer. We cherished everyday! In Feb 08, God took her home. Then my health challenge with vertigo began. Our kids are now in there early 20’s, our daughter graduated from college and moved to WI and our son has finished high school and has stayed in the Detroit area. My husband and I moved to the Tampa Bay area. Each of these events is a story and of course the questions that come up every day and how we make the little decisions in our lives that slowing point us in a certain direction. I am truly blessed.